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ADVICE FOR NEW PARENTS

LETTING DAD HELP

He actually IS capable!!!

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DH is a parent too. Give the little one to him and leave, even if it is for a short walk, or time out with the girl friends. Some Dads are comfortable with the little ones some aren't but we need to know you trust us; we need to know we can do it and we need to start creating that bond as early as possible. I have talked to so many mothers who tell me that DH wants to wait until they can truly interact with the kids before they become involved, my answer is always the same, How will the little know to trust him if he never changes a diaper or cuddles him/her when they need holding. You build the trust before the little ones know who you are.

 

Unless dad is trying to calm baby by hanging him off the balcony by his ankles, let him find his own way. The daddy path might be different from the mommy path, but they'll both get you to the same destination.

 

Resist the urge to correct hubby when he's caring for his new baby. I made that mistake and it's something I wish I could undo. We all need to learn and find our way. Hubbies included.

 

There isn't always a right way, dad's and mom's do things differently. And it's totally natural to feel like you have no clue what you are doing either.

 

Discuss ahead of time with your s/o if it bothers them if you cut in and take over if baby is fussing or tell them a better way of doing something, i.e. bath, putting on a sleeper, soothing, etc.  I've been letting DH deal with it his way and he's been waiting for me to step in and give him pointers if he's having problems.  Some don't like it when you step in and don't want help at all, some want the info later and some want you to step in as you see it happening.  Would have made both DH and I feel better if we discussed it before hand.

 

Hubby - he is the parent, too.  When he wants to help out, don't criticize him if he's doing it differently than you.  In the long run, the child will realize that each parent is different.  No one is doing it better than the other.


Valuable tid-bits of information from experienced parents who have "been there" and learned it all the hard way!